tourbraindump12
25 min flow timer
february 5, 2024
san antonio, texas
tourbraindump12
***
i feel spread thin
everything wants my atttention
i wont allow myself a little time to just [think & create]
i need a way to express myself better
even these tourbraindumps feel [[[manicured]]] to a certain degree
thats why the whole [performance aspect of posting on social media] makes me feel like i still cant one hundred percent be [my]self because i am still nonetheless performing for an audience
i feel scared to share myself
i feel scared to let myself dive deeper
why am i scared of the ocean
why am i scared of nature
i would never actually think that im scared of those things, but i also dont chase them as much as i feel like i should be
i want to chase nature
i bought a converted camper van a couple months ago
i could live in it if i wanted to
its that kind of van
ive always wanted to live [off the grid]
the van has a bed & a shower & a stove top & mini fridge & other stuff too
theres solar panels on the top of the van so it can ideally always have electricity
im proud of the investment
i feel like a kid
[finally growing up]
[finally thinking about the future]
i want to travel more
when i was 18 years old
4 months after i graduated high school
i got in my car & went on a 2 month long solo roadtrip
it was the first time in my life i felt like i was trying to expose myself to the real world
i was scared but naive
it was my way of making up for all the [lost time] spent in my room
my [wasted youth]
my room was always my favorite place
it still is
i never think about that roadtrip i took when i was 18
but i should
18 year old me was so brave
but that roadtrip also ended up sort of scaring the 18 year old me
i dont know what i expected
***
i want to travel more
***
im sorry, im a little spacey right now
there is still 9 minutes & 23 seconds left on the timer
after this im gonna work on music for a bit
***
today i went out to eat with friends
it reminded me how important community is
[the brain needs face-to-face human interaction
[listen to [your] brain, sky]
[it wants the best for you]
[just fucking listen]
888
i want to feel more human
i had 3 cold brews today
im not proud of that
but i also dont mind it
my brain feels electrified
it 10:09pm here in san antonio, tx
the weather was beautiful today
i wanna open up a coffee shop someday
i wanna open up a climbing gym someday
i wanna open up a bookstore someday
all [24 hours]
im sure it'll be doable
i want to create more places in the world people can go to get human to human interaction & exposure
***
everything in life is about the effort you put in
[the effort you put in decides what you get back]
its a perfect universe
everything webs together
everything connects
the world could be much less linear & it would make more sense
[do i actually think i know anything?]
***
i want to sit in the sun more often
i want to make music outside
where the wind is real
where the birds are singing with me
where the sun is holding me
[the van is the answer]
[the van is the key]
the van can be a travelling music studio
***
i feel sort of [all over the place] right now
***
but i also feel like i just sort of discovered important things about myself while writing this tourbraindump12
mission accomplished, i suppose
the timer is done now
goodbye
***
since forever,
sky


I vote for pushing the envelope on ✨how much✨ of [yourself] you can really show/be✅👌🥰
Everything you do, you should do for you.
Regardless of context 💖
Lysm